Hummingbirds

A  fellow blogger found this post that I put up nearly two years ago.  I’d forgotten about it, and about how much I love this photo.  My mom would have loved it, too. Do you think God has provided this kind of thing in heaven?  I don’t see why not–such beauty should be enjoyed there, too, don’t you think?

Anyway, I decided to bring this post back to the top of the queue.  It’s worth seeing again 🙂

Hideaway...

I love hummingbirds.  I love flowers, and roses in particular.  What could be a more perfect combination?  This picture absolutely intrigues me.  To think of the fun God must have had when He created such beauty!  You can talk all you want about evolution, but you’ll never convince me that these gorgeous creatures and flowers happened by accident.

Our God is a God of love. He didn’t have to give us beauty to enjoy, but He loves us, so He did. How can anyone look on this delightful picture and not realize that God is love?

The ugliness in this world was created by sin, not by God.  In Him, there is only beauty.

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Friday Counseling Issues: Are You a People Pleaser?

What is a people pleaser, anyway?  Is it a bad thing?  I mean, shouldn’t we try to please the people in our lives?

As with anything else, it’s a matter of the proper balance. Most of us enjoy pleasing the people we love, and we also don’t mind pleasing people in general. The problem develops when you feel compelled to please whoever it is in  your life who is asking/demanding things of you. Now you have a problem, and if you don’t recognize what’s happening, it will consume you.

Most adolescents go through a period of wanting to please those they see as the “in” crowd, the cool kids, the ones who are popular. That’s pretty normal, and most of us got through that and grew beyond it without getting too many bumps and dents along the way. We learn to walk our own paths, and not to worry too much about what anyone else thinks of us. That’s a healthy attitude, and sign of maturity. Of course, we can take that attitude too far as well, offending people left and right because we don’t care what anyone else thinks. Balance.

So how do you know if you’ve taken “being nice” to a pathological level?  How do you know when you’ve gone too far and when you need to take some steps to pull back from your habit of losing yourself in other people’s wants and needs?

A people pleaser is a person who gives too much importance to pleasing others. In the process, their primary intention is to be liked and appreciated in return by the people they try to please. The problem here is that those who are people pleasers think they have to be that way in order to be like, accepted, and appreciated. In the process, they don’t learn to draw boundaries around themselves to keep the predators out of their lives.

There are two kinds of people pleasers.

The first people pleaser goes out of his way to be nice or help others because he feel  it’s his moral obligation to do so. He’s taken the biblical injunction to be kind as the only controller in his life. He can’t say no, and he’s terribly afraid of offending others.

The other kind of people pleaser  tries to help people all the time or constantly complimenst others in the hope of getting the same treatment back from her friends. She seems to be seeking validation for her existence in the form of praise from the people in her life. If she doesn’t get the praise she needs, she will go out and seek a way to find it.

People pleasers can’t stand to feel that anyone, anywhere, dislikes them.

The truth is, most of us don’t get through life without someone else deciding to dislike us for one reason or another.  

We really shouldn’t fear the dislike of others.  Some people are just impossible to please, and the harder you try, the more they sneer. Forget them. You’re wasting your time.  I promise you, if you take a stand for anything at all–save the whales, eat more chocolate, coffee is bad for you–someone is going to criticize you for it.

You can’t please all the people all the time.

So how can you know if you’ve taken your tendency to please  people to an unhealthy level?

Over the next couple of weeks, I’m going to offer you some ideas to help you figure it  out. Here’s the first one for you to consider:

People pleasers tend not to have any hard and fast convictions of their own. They are like chameleons, changing to blend in to their environment, to not stand out from the crowd. Do you do that? Are you quick to say, “Oh, I agree with you!  I didn’t mean to contradict you.  I’m sorry if you thought I was doing that.”

Are you quick to say “I’m sorry” even when you haven’t done a single thing wrong?

Maybe you’re a people pleaser.

The Grace of God

Galatians 2:21: “I do not frustrate the grace of God: for if righteouness come by the law then Christ is dead in vain.”

Do not set aside the grace of God by trying to embellish its effectiveness with your own good works.  We must understand that if our keeping of the Law could gain us salvation, then Jesus didn’t need to die. His suffering, His pain, His humiliation in the eyes of man was nothing more than another crucified Jew who had been found guilty of trying to overthrow Rome’s power.  If we could work out our own salvation, then Jesus was just one of thousands of Jews who were crucified by Rome; He was nothing special, nothing to  regret, no one to worry about.

That is the lie Satan wants us to believe. Jesus. Just another Jew who happened to die on a cross.  Happened all the time. No big deal.

But He was  a very big deal. He was the Son of God. He became sin for us, Who knew no sin, that we might be made the righteousness of God in Him (II Cor. 5:21). That’s a  very big deal, indeed. .

Crucified with Christ

Galatians 2:20. “I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, Who loved me, and gave Himself for me.”

I am crucified with Christ:  Because He took my place. Because it was for my sin that He died. Because He voluntarily took on the weight of all my sin; in fact, He actually became sin for me while He was on the cross.  These statements can be repeated for everyone, for all mankind, because “God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son; that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life (John 3:16).”

Nevertheless I live:  Just as I was identified with Him on the cross, now I am linked with Him in His resurrection, for He has given me to be a partaker of His own glorious eternal life.

Yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: It is not really MY life, but His life of which I am a partaker.  My life is not my own.  I am bought with a price, I belong to Him, and He lives in me.

And the life which I now live in the flesh: My physical body, by God’s grace, lives and breathes and functions on this earth.

I live by the faith of the Son of God: This life I live right now is one of complete faith in Christ.

Who loved me and gave Himself for me: Jesus loved me!  How can I do anything less than give Him the life I now live?

Many of us have this verse memorized, and we can rattle it off without giving it much thought.  I want to challenge you to take it apart in your own way, after you read this, and spend some time meditating on the simplicity, the complexity, and the beauty of the Lord Jesus Christ, Who loved YOU and gave HImself for you.

Christianity is the only faith in the history of the world that offers a Savior. A living Savior, a loving Savior. The only One.

Dead to the Law

Galatians 2:19. “For I through the Law am dead to the Law, that I might live unto God.”

Paul is writing in first person here, and throughout this passage. It helps to keep that in mind. Otherwise, it is easy to get lost in the pronouns. So let me put myself in Paul’s place, and the pronouns refer to me, Linda. And here’s a paraphrase of verse 19: “The Law condemned me to death because of my sin. The penalty was inescapable. But then Christ took my place, and became my Substitute. In Him, I died to the Law; He was the perfect, complete sacrifice for my sin. It was as if I was removed from the cross, and Jesus was put there in my place, for my sake. In Him, I died to the penalty of the Law, so that I could live, through Him, unto God.”

How perfectly it all works together! I am so moved as I study through these verses, knowing that life is in Him, and that it is abundant, free, and eternal.

Is Therefore Christ the Minister of Sin?

Galatians 2:17-18. “But if, while we seek to be justified by Christ, we ourselves also are found sinners, is therefore Christ the minister of sin?  God forbid. For if I build again the things which I destroyed, I make myself a transgressor.”

Paul’s legal training shows up in these two verses. They are  classic “If. . . .then”  statements, showing the fallacy of combining grace with the observation of the law to attain salvation.

“if,” says Paul, “while we seek to be justified by Christ, we ourselves also are found sinners”–in other words, if we who have trusted in Jesus alone are still sinners seeking a way of salvation–“Then Christ is the minister of sin.”  Is that all Christ was for? Was He only to show me how bad my sin is, how lost I am, and then leave me to save myself by my own efforts in keeping the Law?

God forbid! Christ came to be a minister of righteousness to all who believe. How futile would His death have been if it were only to show me how bad my sin is and not provide me with a way of salvation beyond my own efforts!

“If I build again the things which I have destroyed”—If I, Paul, insist upon the Gentiles’ observance of the Law, which I have proved to be abolished by the death of Christ (Eph. 2:14-15; Col. 2:14-17 and many other references) then I am rebuilding what I have taken down, making myself also a sinner by undoing my own justificiation by faith in Christ.

I had to read these verses over several times, and study a couple of my references, to be sure I have a clear understanding of what Paul was saying.  When it fell into place for me, I realized how beautifully simple it is.

Thank God for His grace to us!

A Reflection

I’m  taking a break from my Friday routine today while I’m still deciding where to go next with my Counseling Issues posts.  I want to share something with you today that I hope you won’t see as nothing more than an organ recital.  I promise not to dwell on the physical aspect, because that’s not the main emphasis here.

Because of some things I’m dealing with right now, I’ve been thinking a lot about how our physical health  can influence our  thinking, emotions, our spirit, and our behavior.  There’s nothing deeply philosophical here this morning, just thinking about some folks I know who have chronic conditions. Some are positive and upbeat. Others? Well, I don’t want to be like that.

It’s not a good day when you are told you have a condition that will not go away. The typical person needs some time to process that, and will probably go through the cycle of grieving that starts with denial, and includes anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.  You can read more about that here.

It does take time to deal with the knowledge that your body will never be what it once was. We take our health for granted, moving through our days with energy and enjoyment.  Bending, stretching, twisting; running, jumping, and bouncing without giving it a thought. I wish I had treasured those wonderful days more than I did. I appreciate them now, I assure you!

I knew a woman who had a beautiful spirit. She was always smiling.  I don’t think I ever saw her when she was unhappy. She spent the last ten years of her life in a wheel chair. She had several different conditions, and they eventually had her all twisted and bent. Still, she would smile at whoever approached her. She could only look at you sideways, and she couldn’t hold her focus very long, but she always had a warm smile. After a while she could no longer speak. She developed Alzheimer’s, to add salt to the wound. The amazing thing, though, was that even when she lost herself she still smiled, still made sounds to show how pleased she was to see whoever came to speak with her.

I want to be like that. I want to NOT make people dread having to see me because they will be treated to a long and boring organ recital. My discomfort, my pain, is mine.  It doesn’t belong to anyone else.  No one else should be burdened with it.

I have a friend who developed colon cancer. He had surgery, and for a while all was well.  But his latest scans are showing some activity that isn’t good, and he has to have more tests.  His attitude?  It’s fine. Make each day count. He smiles, and really doesn’t want to spend a lot of time talking about it.

I know someone else who is unable to discuss anything else besides her pain. No matter what subject you introduce, she’ll bring it back to herself and her own problems. I feel bad for her.  The pain is real, her condition is real. But I don’t want to talk  to her. I do, but I dread it.  There’s no joy.

And there’s what I guess I’m trying to say. There can always be joy.  You know, God never promised us that life would be a walk in the park. He did, however, promise that He would always be there beside us to walk through the dark times.

Psalm 23:4Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

And there is my joy. I have Jesus. He knows my need, my fear, my dread. He knows and understands my pain because He made my body. He gives me comfort, and His Word gives me strength every day, all day.  I am so thankful for passages I memorized as a child. Those are the ones that come back to me when I want to indulge in a little “pity me” thinking. ‘

I’m thankful for modern medical technology that can bring some measure of relief. I’m thankful for kind and capable doctors who are taking good care of me. I’m thankful for the nearly 68 years I had before this present condition kicked in. Thankul I was strong and full of energy when my family needed that from me; thankful I had the opportunity of teaching when I was still able to go 24/7.

And now I’m thankful that, as my energy is sapped by pain, I can rest.  I work only three days each week. You can’t beat that. I’m not ready to retire completely, and God knew years ago, when I decided to go back to school so I could do my present work, that this period of my life was coming. He has prepared the way for each and every phase of my life, given me what I needed and walked beside me.

Here’s a song I love that expresses my present thinking quite well: