“A fool uttereth all his mind: but a wise man keepeth it in till afterwards.”
I have learned (am learning), to my deep regret, that saying exactly what you think is not always such a good idea.
Granted, there are times when you need to do so. Rare, but they do exist. But if what you are expressing is nothing more than anger vented all over everyone who is unfortunate enough to be in the direct path of your eruption, then, God says you are a fool.
A stupid person.
A silly person who has no sense and cannot control himself.
And you don’t even know that everyone wishes you would just stop. Just sit down and be quiet. You embarrass yourself; you embarrass the people who care about you.
“But I’m RIGHT!” you may say. And maybe you are. But in your anger and venting all over the place, you have won no one to your cause. You have alienated people who might have been swayed by a calm conversation instead of a furious, red-faced, vein-bulging rant.
I do a lot of marital counseling. There is usually one partner, sometimes both, who constantly vents rage; who constantly insists he/she is right; who cannot accept being contradicted, and who must, MUST have the last word.
Love dies under those conditions. It may take a long time, but eventually there’s just nothing left but the ashes of what was once a fire of new love and passion.
There is a reason that people who have been married 40 years or more split up. One or the other of them just can’t tolerated another day of being locked in conflict with a rage-aholic. Couples who have been married that long rarely divorce over adultery. It’s far more likely that one or the other of them just can’t take it any more.
I am learning that if I choose to contain my words for at least 24 hours, they probably won’t need to be spoken at all. And I haven’t poured scorching fire all over anyone’s head.
Even when I really must speak up, I’m learning to do it with tact and a calm approach.
It just works better.