Sunday Morning Coffee: Rage

Proverbs 29:11

 “A fool uttereth all his mind: but a wise man keepeth it in till afterwards.”

Image result for Proverbs 29:11

I have learned (am learning), to my deep regret, that saying exactly what you think is not always such a good idea.

Granted, there are times when you need to do so.  Rare, but they do exist.   But if what you are expressing is nothing more than anger vented all over everyone who is unfortunate enough to be in the direct path of your eruption, then, God says you are a fool.

A stupid person.

A silly person who has no sense and cannot control himself.

And you don’t even know that everyone wishes you would just stop.  Just sit down and be quiet.  You embarrass yourself; you embarrass the people who care about you.

“But I’m RIGHT!” you may say.  And maybe you are. But in your anger and venting all over the place, you have won no one to your cause.  You have alienated people who might have been swayed by a calm conversation instead of a furious, red-faced, vein-bulging rant.

I do a lot of marital counseling.  There is usually one partner, sometimes both, who constantly vents rage; who constantly insists he/she is right; who cannot accept  being contradicted, and who must, MUST have the last word.

Love dies under those conditions.  It may take a long time, but eventually there’s just nothing left but the ashes of what was once a fire of new love and passion.

There is a reason that people who have been married 40 years or more split up.  One or the other of them just can’t tolerated another day of being locked in conflict with a rage-aholic. Couples who have been married that long rarely divorce over adultery.  It’s far more likely that one or the other of them just can’t take it any more.

I am learning that if I choose to contain my words for at least 24 hours, they probably won’t need to be spoken at all.  And I haven’t poured scorching fire all over anyone’s head.

Even when I really must speak up, I’m learning to do it with tact and a calm approach.

It just works better.

 

2 thoughts on “Sunday Morning Coffee: Rage

  1. Thanks Linda. This is an excellent and timely post considering current events.

    I’m not sure what translation that is in the graphic but it is a worthwhile variation. Here are some others from several Bible versions:

    A foolish man lets out all his wrath, but a wise man keeps it back quietly.

    A fool uttereth all his mind; but a wise man keepeth it back.

    A fool uttereth all his mind: a wise man deferreth, and keepeth it till afterwards.

    A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back.

    A fool spendeth all his spirit; but a wise man stilleth it within him.

    A fool uttereth all his mind: but a wise man keepeth it in till afterwards.

    A fool utters all is mind: but the wise reserves his in part.

    The fool gives vent to all his anger; but by biding his time, the wise man calms it.

    A fool always loses his temper, but a wise man holds it back.

    A fool always loses his temper, but a wise man holds it back.

    The fool blurts out every angry feeling, but the wise subdues and restrains them.

    A fool vents all his feelings, but a wise man holds them back.

    A fool gives full vent to anger, but the wise quietly holds it back.

    A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man quietly holds it back.

    A fool uttereth all his mind: but a wise man keepeth it in till afterwards.

    A dullard vents all his rage, but a wise man calms it down.

    A fool uttereth all his mind: but a wise (man) keepeth it in till afterwards.

    A fool bringeth out all his mind, and the wise till afterwards restraineth it.

    The key Hebrew word in this verse is translated in almost every Bible version as the English word “fool.” This word in the Hebrew means: “fool, stupid fellow, dullard, simpleton, arrogant one, stupid man, stupid ones.”

    It is interesting that the word arrogant appears as part of the definition, proving that a fool and pride often go together. The arrogant fool apparently has no understanding regarding his or her actual standing in that he or she apparently does not perceive his or her own arrogant foolishness. These kind of people apparently think they are bullet proof and apparently believe they can get away with anything. Students of God’s word know, however, that pride precedes destruction, which may be termed self-destruction.

    This passage from Proverbs thus refers to the contrast between the wise ones who hold their tongue, knowing their words are very powerful and may cause something unintended, and those who are so cocksure of themselves that they blurt out whatever they may be angry about without thinking. One person has the wherewithal to hold back any untoward feelings or emotions and always thinks first before speaking. The other has no desire or apparent ability to do this and is easily triggered.

    One has spiritual and/or mental strength and circumspection, and attempts to consider all possibilities and his or her own shortcomings or lack of data before responding. The other is devoid of such spiritual or mental strength and simply lets his or her emotions or arrogance rule. This latter person’s arrogance and pride is often objectively unsubstantiated most likely because it is based on mere surface characteristics, shallow thinking, and a concerted lack of knowledge, possibly or most likely due to embraced narcissistic tendencies.

    Acknowledging the fact that we are all imperfect human beings is healthy. Holding back anger is wise. Humbling oneself before the Lord Jesus is always the cure for whatever challenge one may face.

    Blessings to you, my friend. Keep up the great work!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, RJ. I always appreciate your input.

      Isn’t it interesting how similar the words “ignorant” and “arrogant” are? My life experience has taught me that ignorant people can be the most arrogant people you will ever meet 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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