I was all set to crawl into bed (I usually write these posts on Saturday night) when I remembered I hadn’t written my SMC post for tomorrow. Sigh. The less I have to do on Sunday morning, the happier my world is, and all the people in it.
Anyway, here I am. I want to tell you about an event (that’s what my doctor called it) that took place in my left eye, without my knowledge. It is not related to my cataract surgeries in any way, and I was blithely enjoying my wonderful new vision, when one day I realized something was wrong. Closed my left eye–right eye is great. Closed my right eye–left eye is not so great.
After many tests and scans, the specialist my ophthalmalogist sent me to gave me a careful exam except for the exceedingly bright light he put RIGHT up to my eye–decided that I’d had what he called a tiny little mini-stroke in my eye that resulted in an occlusion (blockage) of the optic nerve. He could see right where the blockage had been.
The blockage is gone, with no discernible residue. That’s good. But in the tiny amount of time it was there, it blocked blood flow in my eye in the lower left quadrant up almost to the center. That’s not good. That vision is very likely not going to repair itself, and the doctors haven’t figured out any way to fix it. He said there are ongoing studies, but nothing definitive has appeared yet.
So when I close my right eye and focus on something, it blurs or disappears. My peripheral vision is great. And that’s good. The doc said sometimes it does repair itself, but by three months or so it probably won’t get any better. That gives me about six weeks before the three-month deadline. And no glasses will really help much, either.
I’d had long enough, waiting for this appointment, to accept the fact that I was probably losing some of my vision in that eye. It could have been a whole lot worse. And my right eye is perfect, so I’ll be fine.
After he was finished explaining all this to me, the doctor looked at me very kindly and asked if I was all right.
“Yes, I’m fine, thank you.”
“Most people get a little upset, you know, and keep asking me if it was their fault, isn’t there anything at all. . . .”
“Well, there is a little sadness. It was so great to have nearly perfect vision. But God knew all about it long ago, and He has it all planned out. I’ll be fine.”
“I wish I had that kind of belief–faith—“
“You can. Read the book of John, in the New Testament. Read it over and over. Pray and ask God to help you understand.”
So I got to share Jesus with him, and that’s VERY good.
See, there’s always a rainbow. Always a silver lining. Always a positive to offset the negative. Sometimes we can’t see it through the clouds, or tears, or darkness, but it’s there because God has said He would never leave us or forsake us.
He’s there, and He has me in the palm of His hand. Always.
And He is always good.