Goodbye, Again

So I had to say goodbye to two of my sons and their families.  Again.

Ken and his family left on Saturday morning, after tearful hugs, assurances of love, wish you didn’t have to go. We did a repeat performance on Sunday morning with Mike’s family. As they filed out the door, I remembered all the times Terry and I said good bye to my mom and dad, or his,  after a visit.  Everyone tried to be cheerful.  No one wanted to make it any worse than it really was.  But I knew very well that when our car pulled out of their driveway and disappeared down their street, my mom would get very busy cleaning, and Dad would find a reason to go to his study.  Terry’s mom would also deal with her tears in a frenzy of cleaning.  His dad would most likely go down to his painting studio and putter, maybe working on a design for a new sign.

We hated the leaving, but we sure enjoyed the arriving. The trouble is, you make a trip like that with the knowledge that there will have to be a goodbye.

Sometimes I get very jealous of my friends whose families never moved out of the area.

That’s not the way it has turned out for us.  Only one of our four children lives about 30 minutes away.  I wish I knew my other grands as well as I know the ones we see regularly.

These wrenching goodbyes help me to understand my mom better, although I think I really did understand her pretty well.  It’s just that the generations pass away, and suddenly you find that you are the grandparent standing at the door waving, tears rolling down your cheeks, as a carload of precious family members pulls out for their long drive home.

It seems impossible.  I am the same age now as Mom was when Dad died.  That still startles me when I think of it.

I find I’m thinking about time a lot more than I used to. When your children’s children are adults, or nearing adulthood, you yearn for more little ones to balance things out—and I suspect it won’t be terribly long before we become great grandparents, if the Lord tarries.

I guess I don’t really have an ending point here.  Just sharing my thoughts and my heart as we wrap up this Christmas season.  It’s been a good one, one of the best.

Just too short.

 

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5 thoughts on “Goodbye, Again

  1. Is that what happens? We yearn for the little ones as the oldest children near adulthood? Debby, my daughter, let us know recently that a baby is on the way come June. Kevin, her oldest, will be 20 in January. All of us are saying, Wow, including Debby and Gary.
    I am this year, the same age as my dad when he left us. Those things do weigh heavily on our aging hearts and minds, don’t they.
    In your little chats, you say what what I am feeling, and somehow, it helps. 🙂

    1. It’s not all bad 🙂 I wouldn’t ask any of them to stay where God isn’t leading them, just so we don’t have to say these goodbyes. You’ll be surprised how your life fills up with other things.

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