Sorry I missed this thread last week. Sometimes life just gets too busy 🙂 I’m back on track today, so here we go. Today we’re going to take a look at how to spot arrogance and how to make sure you’re not misjudging someone.
An interesting paradox is that sometimes people who are quite shy are mistakenly seen as being arrogant or snobbish. I’m not quite sure why this happens, but I know that it does because it has happened to me.
As a teen, and even for a few years after I married, I was really pretty shy. It was hard for me to strike up conversations with people I didn’t know, and I hated things like walking into a roomful of people who all seemed to know each other and were all chatting away happily. Often I would find a quiet spot out of the main flow of traffic and just hope no one could see me. Some people saw my behavior as being aloof, arrogant, It was the complete opposite. So be careful about making quick judgments. I’m happy to say that I finally got past the shy thing, and no one believes me any more when I talk about how shy I used to be 🙂
Here are some guidelines to help you recognize true arrogance:
• If you feel that your interests and needs are not being respected at all, this can be a sign of dealing with an arrogant person, especially where he or she insists that his or her way is the only way.
- Look for the person constantly saying that they are better than you and other people. It may be subtle or overt but you’ll certainly know of it.
- Consider how dismissive the person is towards you and your ideas or thoughts. Dismissive attitudes signal a belief in being better than others.
- Does this person put down the things you care about, especially in public?
- Does this person sound and/or act plain bossy? Listen for a tone of voice that indicates bossiness and a dismissive attitude.
- Does this person even notice when you are bored with the conversation? Arrogant people never notice this!
- Consider whether you’re included or excluded in decision-making with this person. Arrogant people rarely include others in decision-making because they’re certain that they’re right and already have the answers. Of even less concern is whether or not the decision impacts you.
- Does this person try to hang around with, work with, or conspire with people of high status? This is because the arrogant person believes he or she is only worthy of those with high status.
- Sometimes, arrogant people are really very insecure. A person who seems to need to control, who talks of nothing but himself, who puts others down and mocks their opinions, could really be struggling with a strong sense of inferiority. It doesn’t make their behavior any more acceptable, but sometimes looking at an arrogant person from a different perspective makes their behavior more understandable.