Friday Counseling Issues: Arrogant People

Sorry I missed this thread last week.  Sometimes life just gets too busy 🙂  I’m back on track today, so here we go. Today we’re going to take a look at how to spot arrogance and how to make sure you’re not misjudging someone.

An interesting paradox is that sometimes people who are quite shy are mistakenly seen as being arrogant or snobbish. I’m not quite sure why this happens, but I know that it does because it has happened to me.

As a teen, and even for a few years after I married, I was really pretty shy.  It was hard for me to strike up conversations with people I didn’t know, and I hated things like walking into a roomful of people who all seemed to know each other and were all chatting away happily.  Often I would find a quiet spot out of the main flow of traffic and just hope no one could see me. Some people saw my behavior as being aloof, arrogant,  It was the complete opposite. So be careful about making quick judgments. I’m happy to say that I finally got past the shy thing, and no one believes me any more when I talk about how shy I used to be 🙂

Here are some guidelines to help you recognize true arrogance:

• If you feel that your interests and needs are not being respected at all, this can be a sign of dealing with an arrogant person, especially where he or she insists that his or her way is the only way.

  • Look for the person constantly saying that they are better than you and other people. It may be subtle or overt but you’ll certainly know of it.
  • Consider how dismissive the person is towards you and your ideas or thoughts. Dismissive attitudes signal a belief in being better than others.
  • Does this person put down the things you care about, especially in public?
  • Does this person sound and/or act plain bossy? Listen for a tone of voice that indicates bossiness and a dismissive attitude.
  • Does this person even notice when you are bored with the conversation? Arrogant people never notice this!
  • Consider whether you’re included or excluded in decision-making with this person. Arrogant people rarely include others in decision-making because they’re certain that they’re right and already have the answers. Of even less concern is whether or not the decision impacts you.
    • Does this person try to hang around with, work with, or conspire with people of high status? This is because the arrogant person believes he or she is only worthy of those with high status.
  • Sometimes, arrogant people are really very insecure. A person who seems to need to control, who talks of nothing but himself, who puts others down and mocks their opinions, could really be struggling with a strong sense of inferiority. It doesn’t make their behavior any more acceptable, but sometimes looking at an arrogant person from a different perspective makes their behavior more understandable.
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3 thoughts on “Friday Counseling Issues: Arrogant People

  1. I’ve been accused of being arrogant by some, but what do they know anyway, lol! I stick by my guns 100% when I know I’m correct. My mother has always been very arrogant and condescending in her communication with her children since we were born and she thought of all of us as inferior, even our dad that finally ran off with another woman. She is in her 80’s, has never changed and all of us suffer from severe emotional issues trying to keep jobs and relationships. I’m the only sibling that does not have a substance abuse problem, the oldest, but I lived with other Christian relatives during my formative years. I used to get very angry at my mother all my adult years for how she spoke to me, but as I matured I realized there has to be something very wrong with someone like that. I have tried to point it out to her the minute she comes up with an insulting jab and all she says is “what are you talking about.” She’s never owned up to one mistake or apologized to anyone for anything. Because her behavior borders on verbal abuse I told her a number of years ago that I forgive her for what she did to me when I was young, but I refuse to put up with anymore bad behavior from her. She’s a non-believer, surprise, and loves to throw it up in your face when you are not perfect. “I thought Christians were perfect” and other comments to which I reply. If you knew God and His word, you would know that is not even close to what a Christian is supposed to be. She won’t answer because she’s afraid I will start to explain it to her but she will cut me off and say she already knows all this because she did go to church as a youngster. Arrogant people don’t really bother me unless they use this arrogance to abuse and make others feel small. Then I speak up no matter who it is.

    Liked by 1 person

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