Friday Counseling Issues: Arrogance, Part 2

It’s not easy to put up with Mr. or Miss Know-it All.   What you may not realize, though, is that those people just don’t see themselves that way.  Often, they simply do know quite a bit about a lot of things, and they think they’re just contributing to the conversation.

What they have NOT learned is the art of shutting up 🙂

  

So here’s your perfect opportunity to do two things:  Improve your listening skills, and teach the know-at-all how to let other people talk.

We can all learn from others. Even the most brilliant among us can learn from those who are maybe less well-read, but they’ve learned the art of making other people feel important by listening respectfully without having to interject their own experience or knowledge.

You know, the “I can top THAT story” person who really can’t wait for you to stop talking; or the “I know, I know” person who won’t let you finish because he wants to be the one to tell YOU all about it.  Maybe these people aren’t really so much know-it-all as they are simply lacking in social skills. So be an example for them.  You’d be surprised how insecure these people really can feel, under their annoying exterior.

Sometimes, though, they’re so thick-headed that they really don’t get it, and that’s when you can be more active about helping them see the error of their ways.

“You know, John, Sam has been trying to say something for ten minutes, but you interrupt him every time.  I’d really like to hear what he has to say, wouldn’t you?”  This is said with a smile and a nonconfrontational attitude, and it leaves John very little choice. Of course, he may be immune to suggestion.  In that case, I suggest a stronger statement, like, “John!  You’ve had the floor for half an hour!  Let the others talk!”

If all else fails, a little blunt humor may save the day.

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6 thoughts on “Friday Counseling Issues: Arrogance, Part 2

  1. I have done this. It is amazing how much I noticed the insecurities of the interrupter, to prove their intelligence, the NEED to impress upon their bravado and control. I also began thinking of this situation as hi-jacking the conversation. Once I catch on, I quit paying attention to the hi-jacker to face who was hijacked and question them about their topic in an attempt to get things back on track. Most times the one who was hi-jacked drops the competition with the hi-jacker and turns towards the listener. This subtly shut the hijacker out without being overly rude ourselves, basically because we are just continuing the conversation. If it is still too much effort to compete with the hi-jacker, I’ll flat out say to the one who was hi-jacked that I want to hear more of the topic you started.
    If all this seems to much, it’s really about staying on topic. Sometimes the hard part is to stay on topic even if it isn’t about me.
    Other times, if I’m the one who was hi-jacked, I have to recognize this is getting no where and if the topic is worth the fight to see the conversation to the end. Sad, but this person has revealed to me that my conversation is about them and not the true topic. And then I’m wary about starting any future conversation with them.
    Plus I can get a little carried away and I will be the one who hi-jacks the conversation, but it is all about recognizing what is going on and getting back on track. Usually with a quick apology and an announcement that I’m listening now and then I shut up and listen. Thanks so much for writing this because it is so true and it needs to be said. Thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Psalm 90:12 has had and continues to have a profoud influence in my daily walk, my interactions with others. It reads “So teach us to number our days,That we may [a]present to You a heart of wisdom.” It reminds me that my time on earth is short as is the time of all around me. I may have only once chance to show that “annoying” person kindness and love. I ain’t gonna mess that chance up. Well, sometimes I do, but, through Christ, I’m getting better.

    God bless.

    Liked by 1 person

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