Lord, is it I?

Matthew 26:22-23. “And they were exceeding sorrowful, and began every one of them to say nto Him, Lord, is it I? And He answered and said, He that dippeth his hand with me in the dish, the same shall betray me.”

Eleven of the disciples felt great sorrow. One, perhaps, also felt sorrow. His sorrow, however, was tempered by greed and the guilty knowledge of what he had already done.

I wonder if Judas, too, asked Jesus, “Lord, is it I?”  Did he look into the eyes of the Son of God and know that Jesus already knew?  Did he see judgment in those eyes? Was he afraid?  Did he wish he could give the  blood money back to the men who had given it to him?  Did he realize he was selling Jesus for the mere price of a purchased slave?  Did any of this go through his mind?

We’ll see in verse 25 that Judas did indeed ask that question, but it seems he waited until everyone else had asked. It would seem that Jesus was giving Judas a last opportunity to repent, to confess what he had bargained to do, and to repent. Judas, however, remained silent. We can read in John 13 that Judas then accepted from the hands of the Lord a piece of bread dipped into the wine.

I don’t know.  I wasn’t there, and it is not recorded; but I can imagine that Judas’ eyes never left Jesus’ eyes as he put the sop into his mouth, chewed, and swallowed. What I can’t imagine is what he must have been thinking.

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